i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
