You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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