how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
