The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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