hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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