I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
