We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
