dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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