Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
