So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
