I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
