Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
