It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
