finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
When are your genitals available?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
