North Korea, Best Korea!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I am one with the molecules
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
