I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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