...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
