I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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