so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just want to make out with him forever
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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