No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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