oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
