summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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