I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
