She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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