Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
