girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you would pick up someone in the library
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Randomize
