I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
