Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
