this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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