Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
