there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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