She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
