ya dads aren't the best wingmen
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
