I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
What a dumb baby whore.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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