Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
