So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
