You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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