weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
