I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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