Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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