How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
