Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
