it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
