i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
