why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
