Im at strip club and am horny
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
