sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
