White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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