it hurts more in the daytime
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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