would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
