i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
