No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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